Rant but it's funny

Ok, so this is a rant I guess. I still have of unanswered questions. How in the heck do I keep dragging myself into situations that left me feeling like i just suffer Evangelion. And it's always during holidays i kid you not. Am I even allowed to put my feelings online anymore? Because I'm starting to not feel safe and my mild talking anxiety doesn't help. Do my effort even Matter? Will people cancel me for this little rant. I being ton of people rant and do they even care that i care about them. I'm not pointing fingers but how I'm supposed to express my feelings without mention what cause me ti feeling like this. Even in my rant i still don't curse, of course i don't. Are people going to hunt me down for my opinion and come on man. I seem so much potential in my friends art and i can tell you. I like when it was going but the spell of the artists always say " your art isn't good enough ". Yet here am i talking about myself but i still know I'm trying my best. The description ran out