And then we found a sixteen foot tall golden citrine crystal sticking out of the parking lot in the space we always parked in at Walmart! It...

It was a beautiful crystal, it really was, but it was in OUR parking spot! We were slightly annoyed, if you wanna know the truth. We were tempted to bump it, hard, with our overflowing shopping cart on the way out. We did throw a bagel at it, but a passing seagull swooped and caught that bagel in its beak. Three picoseconds later the bagel was gone, eaten and the seagull had soared 400 feet upwards into the fluffy white clouds. The car parking attendant and shopping cart guy, Guilum told us that the huge citrine crystal had appeared overnight. It seemed suspect because Guilum had an unusual name, a wonky eye and a strange bulge about his person...